I have lived in Utah off and on for 8 years now, and I can't remember a single winter when we didn't experience several large snowstorms. I think it would be safe to assume that it has been snowing in Utah for quite some time now, possibly even hundreds of years. I bring this up, because for some reason the first real snowstorm of the year seems to come as a shock to everybody with a car. What? what is this white stuff? What's going on? Snow you say? In Utah - a state who's very existence is to give people a place to come ski - and we have snow here? I'm just floored.. I never would have expected this. I mean yes, we had snow last year, and every single winter since I've been alive, but THIS winter too? Who would have guessed?
A quick reminder - snow, like it's cousin rain, is made out of water. Snow typically falls when its cold outside. Cold water turns into ice. Ice is slippery. Tires do not stick to ice.
Anyways, it's 9:00 AM and the news has reported 34 traffic accidents on the freeways alone this morning. Maybe snow is just nature's way of taking care of all the swervers and tailgaters out there. Maybe people just like to live dangerously. Either way, try and be safe out there.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
The Freeway - Part III
So we're on the freeway, driving along, listening to the radio and minding our own busi... hey! get out of my lane! Crazy driver!
That's right, today we're discussing the swerve. Perhaps my least favorite of the '900 signs you may be a bad driver'. Swervers, for many reasons, just can't seem to keep their car in one lane. Sometimes they're distracted (ooh, shiny!), sometimes they're sleepy, sometimes they're changing shirts, shaving, and drinking a coffee while talking on their bluetooth (I saw this on Foothill once). Maybe they just don't feel like letting 'the man' keep them in one lane, and want to express their free drivinig spirit. Whatever the cause, to all swervers out there I only have one simple request: flush your car keys down the john, because you're a danger to yourself and those around you. Seriously, get help.
According to American Association of State Highway and Transportation Officials (AASHTO) (PS. any time your acronym needs an acronym, its time to shorten your name); the minimum - that's right, MINIMUM allowable width for an interstate freeway lane is 12 feet. For reference, the width of an average car is 6 feet. That means, that the lane is twice as wide as your car! It should not be that difficult to avoid other lanes!
Remember that Brady Bunch episode where Greg and Marcia are competing about who is the better driver? The final test is who can park the closest to a traffic cone with an egg on top without knocking over the egg? No? Ok, maybe I watched too much tv as a child. In any case, the point is that Marcia (who won), knew how big her car was and had a good sense of where she was in the lane. Let's all be like Marcia (first time I've ever said that) and focus on keeping all parts of our car in one lane at a time when driving.
That's right, today we're discussing the swerve. Perhaps my least favorite of the '900 signs you may be a bad driver'. Swervers, for many reasons, just can't seem to keep their car in one lane. Sometimes they're distracted (ooh, shiny!), sometimes they're sleepy, sometimes they're changing shirts, shaving, and drinking a coffee while talking on their bluetooth (I saw this on Foothill once). Maybe they just don't feel like letting 'the man' keep them in one lane, and want to express their free drivinig spirit. Whatever the cause, to all swervers out there I only have one simple request: flush your car keys down the john, because you're a danger to yourself and those around you. Seriously, get help.
According to American Association of State Highway and Transportation Officials (AASHTO) (PS. any time your acronym needs an acronym, its time to shorten your name); the minimum - that's right, MINIMUM allowable width for an interstate freeway lane is 12 feet. For reference, the width of an average car is 6 feet. That means, that the lane is twice as wide as your car! It should not be that difficult to avoid other lanes!
Remember that Brady Bunch episode where Greg and Marcia are competing about who is the better driver? The final test is who can park the closest to a traffic cone with an egg on top without knocking over the egg? No? Ok, maybe I watched too much tv as a child. In any case, the point is that Marcia (who won), knew how big her car was and had a good sense of where she was in the lane. Let's all be like Marcia (first time I've ever said that) and focus on keeping all parts of our car in one lane at a time when driving.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Getting Lost
So I've heard that not everyone has the same healthy obsession with maps that I do. I've also heard that occasionally some people, especially when driving in unfamiliar neighborhoods, get lost. (to those who get lost in familiar neighborhoods.. well, I'm not sure what to say to you guys)
Now, before anyone gets upset, I have no problem with getting lost. I've even thought about maybe doing it sometime myself (although as a guy, I of course have an innate perfect sense of direction, kind of like a pigeon). However, I do have problems with what I'll call the 'obviously lost'. You may have met these people, they tend to slow down, stop, or even back up in the middle of the street. I'm guessing these people are looking for an address or a street.. I'll give them a hint, the houses are in order! Very rarely do builders throw numbers on houses or streets at random, well, except for the streets along Jefferson, but they're special cases.
Also, sometimes lanes end, merge together, or become left/right turn only. This may catch you off guard. My request, if you can't SAFELY avoid the merging/turning thing without endangering traffic PLEASE don't endanger traffic! It is ok to make a turn you didn't plan on and then turn around and get back on track. It is not ok to stop in the middle of the lane because you don't feel like merging/turning, really, I promise.
Now, before anyone gets upset, I have no problem with getting lost. I've even thought about maybe doing it sometime myself (although as a guy, I of course have an innate perfect sense of direction, kind of like a pigeon). However, I do have problems with what I'll call the 'obviously lost'. You may have met these people, they tend to slow down, stop, or even back up in the middle of the street. I'm guessing these people are looking for an address or a street.. I'll give them a hint, the houses are in order! Very rarely do builders throw numbers on houses or streets at random, well, except for the streets along Jefferson, but they're special cases.
Also, sometimes lanes end, merge together, or become left/right turn only. This may catch you off guard. My request, if you can't SAFELY avoid the merging/turning thing without endangering traffic PLEASE don't endanger traffic! It is ok to make a turn you didn't plan on and then turn around and get back on track. It is not ok to stop in the middle of the lane because you don't feel like merging/turning, really, I promise.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Turning
At some point in your driving lifetime there may come a time when you will need to make a turn. Not often, mind you, but its been known to happen, and we think its best to prepare for all eventualities - just like the boy scout motto: 'let's see if it burns!' wait.. the OFFICIAL motto: 'Be Prepared'.
Now there are a few things to consider when making a turn while driving. First: know where you are turning. Sounds pretty simple, I know, but turning can be quite a process (at least you'd think so seeing some people attempt it) and so its best to avoid the last minute, wheel-squeaking, up-on-two-wheel turns that are so popular in some places. Knowing where we're turning lets us slow down a bit and keep any unsecured backseat passengers from getting to know each other too well.
Anyways, once we've determined ahead of time where we'd like to turn, we can begin the preparations with... the turn signal! (see previous post for details on this marvel of modern driving) In many places special lanes exist for people who wish to turn left and even those who are turning right. USE THEM! Left and right turn lanes allow people to exit the flow of traffic BEFORE they slow down to turn. Quite frankly I'm amazed at the people who slow down to a crawl and then get in the turn lane and speed up to make a turn (I'm convinced these are the same people who put on their pants to get in the shower).
Now these turn lanes aren't around everywhere, so when you need to make a turn without a lane, please consider the fact that it may be possible that the people behind you are not also turning (we're sure you're a popular person, but we may not be headed to the same place). Let's all help each other out and try to get out of the way as much as possible when slowing down for a turn. Thanks!
Now there are a few things to consider when making a turn while driving. First: know where you are turning. Sounds pretty simple, I know, but turning can be quite a process (at least you'd think so seeing some people attempt it) and so its best to avoid the last minute, wheel-squeaking, up-on-two-wheel turns that are so popular in some places. Knowing where we're turning lets us slow down a bit and keep any unsecured backseat passengers from getting to know each other too well.
Anyways, once we've determined ahead of time where we'd like to turn, we can begin the preparations with... the turn signal! (see previous post for details on this marvel of modern driving) In many places special lanes exist for people who wish to turn left and even those who are turning right. USE THEM! Left and right turn lanes allow people to exit the flow of traffic BEFORE they slow down to turn. Quite frankly I'm amazed at the people who slow down to a crawl and then get in the turn lane and speed up to make a turn (I'm convinced these are the same people who put on their pants to get in the shower).
Now these turn lanes aren't around everywhere, so when you need to make a turn without a lane, please consider the fact that it may be possible that the people behind you are not also turning (we're sure you're a popular person, but we may not be headed to the same place). Let's all help each other out and try to get out of the way as much as possible when slowing down for a turn. Thanks!
Saturday, August 16, 2008
The Traffic Light - Part II
Now that we've developed a radical new system for handling those traffic lights, we'd better talk about driver responsibility. At some point in our lives we'll find ourselves stopped at a red light (well, those of us on the new system will, some die-hards will no doubt stick the old "Go Fastest" philosophy) and occasionally we may find ourselves at the front of the line waiting for a green. I would like to nominate a new position for these people that I'll call "the light captain".
You see, Mr/Ms Light Captain has a very important responsibility as the leader of our little line of cars. It is they who must be ready for that light to change and lead out by going on green (that can even be our slogan - "go on green!"). So Mr/Ms Light Captain, stop fiddling with that stereo, put down that lipstick, hang up that phone, and stop talking with your friend in the back seat. You must watch that light and help us all by setting a new standard for traffic signal efficiency - Go on Green!
You see, Mr/Ms Light Captain has a very important responsibility as the leader of our little line of cars. It is they who must be ready for that light to change and lead out by going on green (that can even be our slogan - "go on green!"). So Mr/Ms Light Captain, stop fiddling with that stereo, put down that lipstick, hang up that phone, and stop talking with your friend in the back seat. You must watch that light and help us all by setting a new standard for traffic signal efficiency - Go on Green!
The Traffic Light
Traffic lights - the first electrical traffic light was invented here in Salt Lake City in 1912. The first interconnected traffic light system in the world was installed five years later, also here in Salt Lake City. Roughly five minutes later some guy in a model T ran a red light at 4mph, thus inaugurating a fine Utah tradition of having no idea what traffic lights mean.
Now, your average Utah driver has one of two interpretations for the colors on a traffic signal -
A) Green - go, Yellow - go faster, Red - go fastest
B) Green - stop, Yellow - begin inching into the intersection, Red - stop undecidedly in the middle of the intersection before deciding to go on through
Now in my youth we played a little game called "Red Light/Green Light" wherein you would go when "Green Light" was called and stop when a "Red Light" was called. I propose we adopt a similar system with regards to traffic lights. When the light is green - go, when red - stop. But what about those pesky yellow lights you ask? Let's just say that if you can't make it through the intersection before the light goes red, you should have stopped.
Now, your average Utah driver has one of two interpretations for the colors on a traffic signal -
A) Green - go, Yellow - go faster, Red - go fastest
B) Green - stop, Yellow - begin inching into the intersection, Red - stop undecidedly in the middle of the intersection before deciding to go on through
Now in my youth we played a little game called "Red Light/Green Light" wherein you would go when "Green Light" was called and stop when a "Red Light" was called. I propose we adopt a similar system with regards to traffic lights. When the light is green - go, when red - stop. But what about those pesky yellow lights you ask? Let's just say that if you can't make it through the intersection before the light goes red, you should have stopped.
Monday, August 11, 2008
Monday, August 4, 2008
Utah County
Utah county...
...where swerving in and out of the carpool lane like its an extra fast lane happens.
...where going 15 in a 35 and 75 in a 50 happens.
...where merging on I-15 at 45mph happens.
...where driving along the shoulder instead of merging into one lane so you can be three cars ahead at the light happens.
...where driving a car held together with duct tape and fishing line happens.
...where completely missing a green light happens.
...where three inches is enough space to pull your 2-ton pickup into the next lane happens (but only if you're in a hurry).
...where fitting six college kids into a 1982 Ford Pinto happens.
...where making me glad I live in Salt Lake happens.
...where swerving in and out of the carpool lane like its an extra fast lane happens.
...where going 15 in a 35 and 75 in a 50 happens.
...where merging on I-15 at 45mph happens.
...where driving along the shoulder instead of merging into one lane so you can be three cars ahead at the light happens.
...where driving a car held together with duct tape and fishing line happens.
...where completely missing a green light happens.
...where three inches is enough space to pull your 2-ton pickup into the next lane happens (but only if you're in a hurry).
...where fitting six college kids into a 1982 Ford Pinto happens.
...where making me glad I live in Salt Lake happens.
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
The Freeway - Part II
Well, we've gathered our courage, strapped ourselves in, and we're headed down the onramp - that's right, we're a-goin' on the freeway! Everything's going good so far, just driving al.... oh no! My lane is ending! Panic!!
No, no, don't panic, that would just be silly. We just need to practice the fine art of merging into traffic. You see, as we enter the freeway we match our speed to those in the lane next to us and find an empty spot in the next lane that we can safely enter (you didn't forget about the turn signal, did you? Good work!) Now, some of our more adventurous readers may come from the 'slow down and wait for someone to let me in' school of merging. To which we reply - please stop!
So we're on the freeway, cruising along with the top down, singing along with the radio, remembering that we don't drive a convertible - quick put the top back on!
Now on the freeway, especially through town, we've got our choice in lanes. I'm going to name those the slow lane, the middle lane, and the passing lane. That's right, not the fast lane. You see, fast is such a relative term - all our relatives have different definitions of fast. To grandma, anything faster than a horse qualifies as fast, where dad isn't going fast until at least 88mph (maybe he's trying to go back in time?) So let's keep that far lane open for passing, not for driving 'fast' (and here I'm talking directly to you grandma - that line of cars behind you is NOT there to read your collection of humorous bumper stickers).
No, no, don't panic, that would just be silly. We just need to practice the fine art of merging into traffic. You see, as we enter the freeway we match our speed to those in the lane next to us and find an empty spot in the next lane that we can safely enter (you didn't forget about the turn signal, did you? Good work!) Now, some of our more adventurous readers may come from the 'slow down and wait for someone to let me in' school of merging. To which we reply - please stop!
So we're on the freeway, cruising along with the top down, singing along with the radio, remembering that we don't drive a convertible - quick put the top back on!
Now on the freeway, especially through town, we've got our choice in lanes. I'm going to name those the slow lane, the middle lane, and the passing lane. That's right, not the fast lane. You see, fast is such a relative term - all our relatives have different definitions of fast. To grandma, anything faster than a horse qualifies as fast, where dad isn't going fast until at least 88mph (maybe he's trying to go back in time?) So let's keep that far lane open for passing, not for driving 'fast' (and here I'm talking directly to you grandma - that line of cars behind you is NOT there to read your collection of humorous bumper stickers).
Saturday, July 19, 2008
The Freeway - Part I
Ah the freeway - serving America proudly since 1956.
If the idea of traveling above 50 miles per hour frightens you, perhaps the freeway isn't for you. Please consider one of the many convenient alternatives to freeway driving. For example: public transportation, asking your grandkids for a ride, and of course walking. Remember, the speed limit, unlike the speed of light, can be safely approached without worrying about any of those pesky relativistic effects.
Of course, we should all remember that the speed limit is an upper bound, not a lower bound. I-15 in Salt Lake County is NOT the autobahn, the salt flats or the Indy 500. While we are all curious as to just how fast your nifty new motorcycle can go, none of us wish to scrape bits of you off of our cars. Also, we all know that you have places to be, often far more important places to be than the rest of us suckers going home to our families, but we prefer not to be treated as obstacles preventing you from reaching 100mph. Leave early and slow down! Better to be a little late than a lot dead.
If the idea of traveling above 50 miles per hour frightens you, perhaps the freeway isn't for you. Please consider one of the many convenient alternatives to freeway driving. For example: public transportation, asking your grandkids for a ride, and of course walking. Remember, the speed limit, unlike the speed of light, can be safely approached without worrying about any of those pesky relativistic effects.
Of course, we should all remember that the speed limit is an upper bound, not a lower bound. I-15 in Salt Lake County is NOT the autobahn, the salt flats or the Indy 500. While we are all curious as to just how fast your nifty new motorcycle can go, none of us wish to scrape bits of you off of our cars. Also, we all know that you have places to be, often far more important places to be than the rest of us suckers going home to our families, but we prefer not to be treated as obstacles preventing you from reaching 100mph. Leave early and slow down! Better to be a little late than a lot dead.
The Turn Signal
Ah, the magnificent turn signal - flashing so pretty on the front of our cars. And look! There's one on the back as well! How droll. However shiny the turn signal may be, let us not forget the many rules of the signal -
1. Turn signals let other cars know when you plan to turn. Yes, we know that sometimes you yourself don't know when you plan to turn. Sometimes swerving across three lanes to make a left AT THIS INTERSECTION seems like proper driving procedure. However, for the sake of those around you, please turn on your signal at least three seconds before you madly swing your car around.
2. The turn signal is an indication of what you'd LIKE to do. Turning on the signal does not automatically clear a space in the lane next to you on the freeway. Weird, I know. Actually, you still have to wait for a space to open up - preferably a space large enough to fit your car. Remember, blinking a little light doesn't give you the right to cut somebody off - driving a huge, expensive car does.
1. Turn signals let other cars know when you plan to turn. Yes, we know that sometimes you yourself don't know when you plan to turn. Sometimes swerving across three lanes to make a left AT THIS INTERSECTION seems like proper driving procedure. However, for the sake of those around you, please turn on your signal at least three seconds before you madly swing your car around.
2. The turn signal is an indication of what you'd LIKE to do. Turning on the signal does not automatically clear a space in the lane next to you on the freeway. Weird, I know. Actually, you still have to wait for a space to open up - preferably a space large enough to fit your car. Remember, blinking a little light doesn't give you the right to cut somebody off - driving a huge, expensive car does.
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