Wednesday, September 24, 2008

The Freeway - Part III

So we're on the freeway, driving along, listening to the radio and minding our own busi... hey! get out of my lane! Crazy driver!

That's right, today we're discussing the swerve. Perhaps my least favorite of the '900 signs you may be a bad driver'. Swervers, for many reasons, just can't seem to keep their car in one lane. Sometimes they're distracted (ooh, shiny!), sometimes they're sleepy, sometimes they're changing shirts, shaving, and drinking a coffee while talking on their bluetooth (I saw this on Foothill once). Maybe they just don't feel like letting 'the man' keep them in one lane, and want to express their free drivinig spirit. Whatever the cause, to all swervers out there I only have one simple request: flush your car keys down the john, because you're a danger to yourself and those around you. Seriously, get help.

According to American Association of State Highway and Transportation Officials (AASHTO) (PS. any time your acronym needs an acronym, its time to shorten your name); the minimum - that's right, MINIMUM allowable width for an interstate freeway lane is 12 feet. For reference, the width of an average car is 6 feet. That means, that the lane is twice as wide as your car! It should not be that difficult to avoid other lanes!

Remember that Brady Bunch episode where Greg and Marcia are competing about who is the better driver? The final test is who can park the closest to a traffic cone with an egg on top without knocking over the egg? No? Ok, maybe I watched too much tv as a child. In any case, the point is that Marcia (who won), knew how big her car was and had a good sense of where she was in the lane. Let's all be like Marcia (first time I've ever said that) and focus on keeping all parts of our car in one lane at a time when driving.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Getting Lost

So I've heard that not everyone has the same healthy obsession with maps that I do. I've also heard that occasionally some people, especially when driving in unfamiliar neighborhoods, get lost. (to those who get lost in familiar neighborhoods.. well, I'm not sure what to say to you guys)

Now, before anyone gets upset, I have no problem with getting lost. I've even thought about maybe doing it sometime myself (although as a guy, I of course have an innate perfect sense of direction, kind of like a pigeon). However, I do have problems with what I'll call the 'obviously lost'. You may have met these people, they tend to slow down, stop, or even back up in the middle of the street. I'm guessing these people are looking for an address or a street.. I'll give them a hint, the houses are in order! Very rarely do builders throw numbers on houses or streets at random, well, except for the streets along Jefferson, but they're special cases.

Also, sometimes lanes end, merge together, or become left/right turn only. This may catch you off guard. My request, if you can't SAFELY avoid the merging/turning thing without endangering traffic PLEASE don't endanger traffic! It is ok to make a turn you didn't plan on and then turn around and get back on track. It is not ok to stop in the middle of the lane because you don't feel like merging/turning, really, I promise.